This Week's Resolution - better late than never

This week I only made 1 resolution, but it is a biggie.

 

~~  Watch, pray over, and be aware of my thoughts.

 

My next post is going to be about the power of thoughts in my life. 

 

Goodbye and God Bless

Saturday Evening Post - Thoughts now that the dust has settled a bit

~~  Things suddenly arrived at that peace and quiet that summer brings more of.  I've actually thought thoughts and felt myself breathing. The mornings are 45 minutes of walking/thinking time.  Morning prayer is stretched out a luxurious 15 minutes longer because we don't have to be out the door at 7 a.m.  So the fact is, I have been thinking and... I've decided to say for the record...

If we are of one mind and heart, trying to live good, productive lives based on our faith and raising children who do the same, then we are on the same team - allies.  It's not a competition! It doesn't matter whose child is endowed with more things, more trips, hipper, holier, more talented, achieving more of this or that.  They are ALL incredible, beautiful, precious gifts from God.  And each one of them are a mess on any given day. More peace and true happiness is being lost among a great many people, I am noticing, over who is and who is not the perfect parent based upon how or what or where their children are getting or doing or going.  I notice that my parent's generation didn't seem to do this as much.  Maybe facebook,  pinterest,  blogs ;) have created this monster. It's hard to say.  I know an extended family where much of the love and comraderie have been damaged due to the competition and the judging.  Very Sad.

The reality?  Joseph and Mary were the only perfect parents. 

They, with Jesus, were the only perfect family. 

Kids are going to be kids and do kid-like behaviors no matter how perfect, organized, prayerful, or rich or exciting you make their life precisely because they are children.  We were goofballs once too. And we were mostly good kids too.  So are all our children.

 In today's world, so absolutely saturated with one form or another of bad influence, stress, and challenge, we parents should have sympathy and encouragement for one another.  No to judgment and criticism, and competition.  Yes to banding together in understanding, truthful acknowledgement of how hard it is to raise children, especially in the midst of a culture of death.

 

~~  This morning was spent with the cleaning and cooking Saturday chores.  Weirdly, this is happy stuff for me.  Do I dare admit that??  I'm not saying I'm a picture perfect suzie homemaker, but I've discovered I don't have to be.  A little attention to our home and it's order go a long way toward making me feel happy and sane.  If I had my way, I'd have more time to devote to our home.  I used to daydream that once all the kids were in school I'd get to putter and clean and actually accomplish something in the house.  Without 4 F-5's coming back behind me demolishing it.  I wasn't planning on going back into teaching until they were all in high school.  I had it all planned out that I'd have a few years there to get the house in good shape again.  Best laid plans, sigh.  But I do try to make up for lost time on Saturday mornings.  It isn't perfect but it produces some good enough results.  For this girl raised in rural Oklahoma by a stay at home mother, it seems a  privilege to have time and space to get to practice domesticity.

  I know it's kind of hip right now to be non-cooking, non-cleaning, non-domestic but I openly admit to being old fashioned about some things. 

I've begun this new habit of making Sunday's meal mostly on Saturday morning and then sticking it in the fridge.  It makes me feel like a get more of a day of rest on Sunday.  It's great how much you can make ahead.  Today's cooking included Spaghetti sauce, spaghetti, and preparing the garlic bread.  I also pre-mixed the salad and put it in a Ziploc baggie.

 

~~  Praying for the Oklahoma people who suffered such horrific losses in the tornado of last week.  I cannot imagine losing your child like that.  It kept me awake Monday night thinking of those hurting with those empty spaces in their family.  But I can understand that horrible feeling of life as you knew it suddenly changing; the shock, the numbness, and then stabs of sharp, painful realization as moments of truth penetrate and show forth the losses.

  It must be gnawing at so many reeling from losing their home and life's treasured possessions - the wedding albums, baby pictures, family photos, the pets, the heirlooms from generations past. 

I don't use the word 'victims' because I know Oklahomans and they are faith-filled, resolute, strong stock. 

I pray for the ones who will have the hardest time rebuilding when a part of their life cannot be rebuilt.

 

~~  I used that amazon.com gift card I got at Christmas, plus one I just received from one of my students and his mother, to buy some awesome reading material for summer.  I was so excited about this last evening.  Some of the titles I bought used for 1.59 and 2.68 after having seen them at Barnes and Noble for $25-30  a piece.

These are the books I bought: 

* Living the good, long life  - Martha Stewart (still love her, again not popular to admit, but I do)

* Rooted In Love, our calling as women - Donna Marie Cooper O'Boyle (she's incredible)

* My Sisters, the Saints - Colleen Carroll Campbell (she is my idol)

* I apologize to every teacher I've ever had - Tony Danza (the  "Taxi" and "Whose the Boss" actor about his year of teaching high school in Philly)

* 32 Third Graders and A Bunny - Phillip Done (another teaching book for 1.59!) 

Fly Away - Hannah Kristin

 

~~  My younger 3 found a baby snapping turtle at the pond last evening.  They are delirious for this turtle.  He is tiny and cute right now because he cannot snap at them with any kind of force.  They've named him "Circles" signifying how he tends to swim in circles. I have been begged with heartfelt pleas and even tears for permission to keep mr. circles.  I've agreed.  Was there any other answer possible?  I had a turtle exactly like that once when I was 8.  Her name was cindy.  My brother, being noble towards nature I guess,  thought he should release her one day (without my permission).  He ended up giving me ten dollars and a blowpop to appease my broken heart. 

 

~~  This sweet older lady living on main street had several houseplants and herb plants for sale in her front yard this morning as I was on my walk.  I couldn't resist.  So now I have a beautiful fern, a boston ivy, and basil, lemon verbena, cilantro, and oregano.  Perfect for that one window.  It's the little things they say.

 

This got very long. Didn't think I had much to say this evening.

 

 

Goodnight and God Bless.

 

 

 

A Saturday Evening Post - Graces, Blessings, Struggles

~~ Blessed with work, good, honest work that I have been gifted to do.  Blessed with healthy, active, and thank God, happy children to share life with.  This week's many events... my niece's first holy communion (may God bless her), a Saints wax museum project for my oldest daughter (She was St. Perpetua), a biography project due for the same girl, personal time with oldest son, ballgames on two different nights, getting home at 9 and 10 o'clock pm on those ballgame nights. The twin's homework only partially finished. Life is full, albeit heavy. I am praying over our schedule daily now, asking for the grace to somehow maintain some balance and peace.  I know May is always a little nuts.  Then suddenly summer break arrives and a blessed breather arrives along with it. 

~~ It is Saturday and last week was survived with some modicum of grace/success.  This morning I gave myself permission to lay still in bed for an extra hour and process...life.
Wow.  This life.  Not exactly how I imagined it would all play out.  I Never dreamed I could manage the weight of four children amidst the challenges that have thrown themselves on the path over the last several years.  I always cringe to speak the word 'suffering' in context to myself because I don't want to be overly dramatic or martyr like.
But, there has been suffering. A lot.  I know it's real because I must rely on prayer and my relationship with God in order to make it through each week.  This last week, I felt the weight of it all anew.  I asked myself, again, "Where is this person who is supposed to be at my side helping carry some of this responsibility"? He's busy too.  It hits me all over again.

~~  Always, always my prayer going on for my oldest son.  Lately, so many prayers are being answered.  So my hope concerning my prayers for him is substantially boosted. I know God hears the prayers of a mother.  But I feel like I have failed my boy, and continue to do so, which causes me to wonder if my prayer is as effective as it could be.  This particular ache is constant.  I thank God for faith, Mass, and the rosary.  They will win the day, in God's time.  They will show me the answers. 

 ~~ I am so thankful for these answered prayers - finally - that I almost have lost the ability to complain.  Almost.  Even when I do slip into complaining, I still revert back to feelings of deep gratitude for blessings fairly quickly.  God is so good.

~~ I received an extra mother's day card from my girl quickly growing into a young lady.  It was brief..."I love you!"  But then, the zinger that is possibly one of my favorite group of words ever addressed to me in a card..."you remind me of the Blessed Mother".  I was in  speechless awe and surprise and my eyes blurred for a minute there. Those are very big shoes to fill. It made me feel a sense of new mission and prayer that I will somehow be able to live up to that sentiment.  Truly, I can't.  But I want to try with the help of the Blessed Mother.  I completely trust her with everything.  Someday, I'm going to write a book about all the graces she has proffered for me and mine.  God willing ;) that is.

~~ Getting ready for summer, I compiled a summer reading list.  I also compiled a summer project list, trying to be reasonable with my goals.  12 golden weeks of family time, slower days, reading, growing some flowers and plants.  I am ready.  The kids are ready.  Lord bless this summer time in every way.

God bless and goodnight.

A Saturday evening post - the past week

~~  I began the Novena to the Holy Spirit last evening (Day 1 was yesterday 5/10).  I love this yearly novena because it has always proven very powerful for me.  It wasn't until we finally made it home last evening and everyone got settled into bed that I was able to be quiet and pray it.  But there was something about the moonlight spilling in through my bedroom window and the contented stillness in the house that somehow made the prayer feel so sacred and holy.  I pray this novena (and many others throughout the year) through and with PrayMoreNovenas.com.  A Very blessed couple run this website.

 

~~  Yesterday we enjoyed a really perfect Spring day and evening.  It was really one of our most Spring like days we've had this year so far.  In the evening we went to the park for an outdoor dinner before going back to the school for the annual talent show.  Both the girls had a spot to perform.  J.P. was going to do bird calls but got stage fright at the last minute and opted out.  So very him with all his quiet dignity.  Honestly, I think it was the girls that talked him into it in the first place. But it was a fun time and the show turned out much more "talented" than I had perceived it would be.  I was actually really proud of the kids and their abilities and courage.

 

~~  Other graces from the past week are:

~   receiving some very good news that will help us out financially quite a bit.  Thank You Lord.  You hear every prayer. 

 

~  I found some inner peace this last week.  I had a few tough days the week before and it felt as if I would never be able to shake the " busy-ness of life" stressed feeling.  I prayed about it and asked for help and help has come.  But I had to simplify my mind and heart for it to be able to do so.  The School year is winding down for us and things get a little nuts . But still, Why do I let this crazy, fast world suck me in so often?  Instinctively, I know that the only answer to this is prayer.  Again, and always, I credit Mary (She is the Queen of Peace) as my secret weapon.  She is the tranquility that keeps me going and able to manage it all without losing it or collapsing.  Too often anyway.

 

~  I found the perfect summer sandals (sundress worthy as well as with shorts or capris) at rock bottom price today in a very unexpected place.  We drive through a luxurious neighborhood on our way to our good but simple home and this one beautiful house was having a yard sale.  I stopped in with the kids because I saw a nice big basket I knew I could use.  I bought the basket for a dollar and these great sandals- in my size- for 5 dollars.  And they are leather and still had the tag on them.  Never worn.  How's that for providence?

 

~  For whatever reason I am still sensing a lot of grace and warmth from 1st Satuday confession last week.  I didn't even make it to morning Mass that morning because there was much going on with the kids.  Once I left them with their dad, I went to church and prayed a holy hour and then to confession.  As is my new habit, after praying my penance, I walked to the front of the hushed church and lit a candle in front of Mary's statue and prayed her love and protection over our family. The day was mostly cloudy but suddenly a few, strong rays penetrated the clouds and the the stained glass windows sent ethereal rays of color into the church.  I walked over to St. Joseph's statue and asked his holy protection over our family also, particularly my sons and their dad.  I knelt down on the kneeler to finish praying and was overcome by such a sense of peace and well being and love that I have not been able to forget that moment all week.  Normally, after confession and 15 minutes of meditation and lighting the two candles I am usually in a hurry to get on with running my errands and getting home to make supper.  But I had the hardest time leaving last week.  I felt I could have stayed for hours.  I have wondered if this was heaven's way of emphasizing to me how important this devotion is to Mary (and for my family).

 

~~  Saturday evening is spaghetti night.  We are watching 'Wreck It Ralph' tonight since it was the twins turn to pick the movie. 
 

 

God Bless and Goodnight.

 

 

Catholic Treasure (gold from our rich faith)

Today turned out to be the lucky day when we have no after school sports practices or activities scheduled.  This unexpected little boon of extra time gives me much gratitude, which any mom out there can attest to. We actually pulled in the driveway at 4:30 p.m.!  This is a big deal for us lately.

As a result, tonight's dinner will be a chicken roasted for a whole hour, served with tossed salads, and rice pilaf.  We have been living on too many cold type dinners recently.  Tuna salad lettuce wraps are great, but only for so long.

~~ Providentially, also, the main item I wanted to share this evening in Catholic treasure is something special from Pope Francis. 

~  On Saturday, May 4, which was the First Saturday of the month, Pope Francis visited the Basilica of St. Mary Major in Rome for the second time.  It was around 6 pm in the evening.  He gave a homily while there which I stumbled upon this morning while I was doing my usual news perusing (www.newadvent.com) on my smartphone just before going into work.  It turned out to be such a gem and so pertinent to parenting, particularly mothering.  The whole article concerning this visit and the Pope in general can be found at http://themoynihanletters.com/from-the-desk-of/letter-69-mary-and-the-deceiver .

I am going to highlight a few of the quotes that really called me to reflection and clarity on where I'm trying to go with my children...Heaven.  Yes.  Also, a good, healthy, happy, productive, positive, loving earthly life that becomes holy by our living and learning. 

"A Mother helps her children to grow and it is her wish that they grow well.  This is why she teaches them not to yield to laziness, which is something that derives also from certain well-being.  She teaches them not to adapt themselves to a life of ease that desires nothing beyond material possessions.
...that they grow strong and capable of taking responsibilities upon themselves, that they take on commitments in life and lean toward great ideals.

A life without challenges does not exist, and a boy or girl who does not know how to face challenges and put himself or herself on the line, has no backbone!"
 

 This treasure of a homily has a lot of rich food for thought.  I am always inclined to want the best for my children, but a soft, overly pampered life where their problems are solved and softened by their parents is not the answer for my children that our culture tells us it is.

I highly encourage the reading of this whole article and I hope many will find it as eye opening and encouraging as I did.

~~  The second thing I wanted to share is the new cd being released by the Benedictines of Mary Queen of Apostles (nuns).  It is called Angels and Saints at Ephesus.  I listened to parts of it on Youtube and it is heavenly.  They have another cd entitled Advent at Ephesus which is also heavenly.  It's my night-time music after the children have been settled in their rooms and beds. I listen to it as I pray some of the night prayer from liturgy of the hours.  You can order it from catholicmom.com and help them out (which I plan to do) or you could just google the sisters and find the ordering information. 

God bless and Goodnight. 

 

"You Women are amazing creatures"

I only  sat down at my blog to write my resolutions post and suddenly had so much to put down... the peace post, and now this quote post, in addition to the resolution's post.  It's such a quiet Sunday afternoon around here today.

 

Friday afternoon, I ran into a man we've known for a long time but haven't seen for awhile.  He was marveling at how big the kids all were.  He mentioned how he had seen them helping Father lead Stations of the Cross back in lent one Friday night and it had done his heart good.

 

Our conversation rambled on for about 20 minutes.  After I  had answered all of his questions about our life, I asked about his wife who had had some terrible health and personal problems years before.  His face softened and lit up at the same time and he said she was still the same beautiful rock and heart of their family that she had always been.  Unexpectedly, he extended that compliment to me.  Then he went on...

 

"You women are amazing creatures.  You don't even know your worth -  how valuable you are to us, your husbands - and of course, to the family.  Of course, we don't say it much but we think it everyday."

That was an eye opener and a breath of spring air.  I was speechless.

 

Now I'd like to extend these words to so, so many women I know and see... my mom, a few of my sisters, my best friend, my children's dedicated teachers, women I know from my children's school (other mothers of their school friends), and from our parish, women I work with, Grandma's I know who have stepped into the gap and are loving those children sadly abandoned or neglected, and various Catholic women I see in the blogs and other apostolates and ministries within the Church.

You are amazing creatures.

 

My Thanks to that great man for being such a good husband/father and for sharing that light with me the other afternoon.  It did my heart good to hear such words.

 

This Week's Resolutions

My resolutions for the week of May 4-11

1.  To be more watchful over my thoughts.
           ( thoughts can become actions)

2.  To do 4 things to prepare for our move.
           (get boxes, totes, call movers, give away excess)

3.  To uplift a certain person I know who could use some building up.

4.  Take a personal day and get my hair cut.
             (It has grown out quickly and has little swing left).


           

Peace, Be still...

The quiet at night and in the early morning is wonderful.  I cherish that silence. 

There is something very nourishing about the alive sense of God's presence in the absence of sound. 

So motivating have these moments of quiet been, that now I look for ways everyday, all day, to find those pockets of peace. 

They are very rewarding. 

I never fail to be educated anew and strengthened by these times. 

Being busy with motherhood and working and caring for the people in my life doesn't make this task a breeze, nonetheless, it is worthwhile.

 

My intentional habits...

 

~ mornings are very early - 5ish.  No one else in the house has to be up at that time so I can be slow moving, have my cup of coffee, and settle in to ponder and pray for about 20-30 minutes. I get dressed and groomed before I ever get anyone else up.  By the time I begin waking the children up, I am grounded and have something to give them in the way of love and attention and patience.  I love mornings when they are this way.

 

~Pauses in the day, just for a minute or two, to notice something I think is beautiful - a person, a child, a thought, a picture, a story, a quote, a scene, a memory, nature. 

 

~Pauses to savor the thoughts concerning the gifts I'm thankful for.  I have been surprised to note how many blessings there are in a day.  God really is so good.

 

~Morning Mass.  This is very easy for me (and not for every mother, I know) because I have the time to go to our parish school Mass between dropping my children off at the school (Catholic) and needing to be in my own classroom at another school.  I lay it ALL on God's shoulders at Mass and leave feeling like I have a plan for the day.

 

~I began this last Autumn (2012) to intentionally slow down and move with intention and do one thing at a time when at all possible.  I was like this when I was younger.  But somehow, marriage to a high energy man, motherhood, homemaking, and working made me try to do twenty things at once.  This made me impatient.  And anxious.  Hyper and not at peace even sometimes.  Really, I've noticed that just as much gets accomplished now, but in a more balanced way.  The goal: slower but steadily progressing through the day focusing on what is directly at hand in front of me. Being present in the moment.  I've received back my former joy of homekeeping (cleaning, cooking, and even laundering).  It is a renewed joy in puttering around our home.  I retain, as well, the joy in being with children and teaching and interacting with people.

 

~I also slowed down my driving, which was never fast really, but now I slow down so I can let people in during high traffic, so I can think and and talk with the kids while we are driving to and fro.  I also don't have to brake as often, I've noticed.

 

~I am very watchful as to how much media I let into my head/heart, and as much as I am able to control, into my children's heads/hearts. I, nor my children, do Facebook.  Gasp. Very, very hard to do.  Very, very much worth the effort to me.

 

~At night I pause to think about the day and pray a decade of the rosary for our family before going to sleep.  Then, I give the world to God, which helps me to deal with the sadness and worry that the daily news often makes me feel.

 

While I appreciate that this need of mine to do these quieting things may be an inclination of my particular personality, I cannot help but believe that everyone could use some form of peace seeking (unplugging?) in order to be more whole and real and

calm, loving, and happy. 

 

 

These efforts help me feel as if I and God are pacing and leading my life rather than a crazy, out of control, nonsensical life is leading me.  Which is often how we all feel I think.